Excessive heat and Stupid People go hand in hand don't they?

• So, I'm thinking of taking on a personal war against all things and people that are stupid. So if you're halfway intelligent, and dont like stupidity either, please fill out and return an application for my anti-dipshit militia.......misery loves company.


• My "dipshit" co-worker had the balls to say that i didn't need to put my sons drawings and school work up on the walls in MY office because he comes in my office in the mornings to do his paperwork, I kindly replied " I'm damn proud of my kid and if he so much as touched one of my sons things, i'd "field dress him like he was a fucking deer."


• He didn't bring it up again.


• This same guy wrecked his company ride twice in less than 6 months, he showed up today with a fresh dent on his rental, I asked him what he hit and he said the dent was already there.......what a dumbass. I picked the rental up for him. I know what damage it had on it. The rental company is going to be pissed.


• Im hungry.


• So my boat has been on the water damn near every other day this summer.


• The problem is, I'm running out of water in the lake......fast. I'm afraid im going to hit a body in there or something.


• Zombies love the water, dont let them fool you, I hear the feeling of fish nibbling on dead flesh is pure ecstacy!


• I dont think candy works with rapists anymore. Maybe they should try an Ipad or something.


• Speaking of feminists.......PETA bothers the hell out of me.


• I'm going to south texas to begin recruiting for my militia. I'll see you down the road, send comments for your application.


• You can, and will be a Hero G**Damnit!!!

It's Friggin' Hot. Is it Boat Time Yet?

• Dryers are good places to hide a bitch. If she gets testy, just turn it on for a while and she'll get all fluffy!


• My company re-hired a guy that my new douchebag co-worker fired like 8 months ago. He was pissed when he heard the news.


• Speaking of this Douchebag Ass-Clown, He wrecked his company Truck again, thats twice in 6 months, anywho, he hit a fucking cow. BOOM another 6,000 dollar repair bill. It was in the middle of a straight road and he hit it head on. What a Fucking retard!!!!!


• Yea! work emergency. get back to y'all later

Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow---Shut the FUCK up!

• Was out on the lake (on my boat) when a black and yellow wakeboard boat passed by me playing a rap song where all they kept saying was "black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, you know what it is........" It got fucking annoying real quick like.


• We were on the lake like 8 hours, thats thew only fucking song they played.


• I got up on a wakeboard, I havent done that in like 13 years (my knees are pretty fucked up) it was epic! EPIC I tell you!


• It was quite the accompishment.


• I got a new droid phone. how the hell you work them things, I'm still trying to figure out how to turn my alarm on and off.


• God damn I'm a technology dumbass.


• I still haven't got my damn kolaches


• Seriously, someone spell kolache correctly for me.


• I enjoy my cookies, Get away from my damn door!


• Fellatio Ninjas, Oh yeah, Wise county got 'em!


• I havent dealt with one, then again, I dont sleep in public.


• Rape Hurts.


• WHERES MY SAMICH?!!!!


• No, smich? ok, back to work.


• Black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, you know what it is...........Get that fucking song out my head!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can Do stupid Shit with absolutely Nothing!!!! And look like I know what the Hell i'm doing!

• I went to a few Burlesque shows. (The wife likes them) anywho, It was pretty damn entertaining. (see pics of half naked women above).


• I asked my co-worker which one he wanted, he said he didnt have any chloroform.


• Its true, i have a huge black dick.


• So from what I have gathered so far, I sent a truck to the lower end of the state to do some work(brand new expensive truck) and the first thing that happens is, A god-damned forklift operator runs over my truck like he's in a fucking monster truck. Another truck bites the dust.


• I want some kolache's for dinner


• Seriously, how the hell do you spell "kolache" right?


• and some girl scout cookies


• Took my boat to the lake and had a 45 year old man try to wakeboard. He pulled some "Hulk - Smash" shit and obliterated my ski rope handle. I mean busted that bitch in half.


• Fuck, that was my only ski rope.


• You ever went to work completely exhausted and left work damn-near comatose like a zombie wanting to eat some poor douchebag you see walking down the street? Thats how I feel right about now. I think ill head to wal-mart for a snack.


• Hows about them kolaches


• Quit fucking around and tell me how to spell kolache correctly!!!!


• So, I went on a yelling binge at work yesterday, Now nobody wants to talk to me. Not even my bosses, they send me e-mails every once in a while just making sure i'm OK. That's nice of them


• Its friggin" hot and every one of my company vehicles decides they dont want their A/C to work anymore.


• Its like the movie "Christine" only Gayer and my cars dont think for themselves. They're just pieces of Shit.


• I'm hungry Cheerio!

dont you just love a job that damn near consumes you. I oughta call Rape every once in a while!

So my job title changed and i have a lot more shit to do, yet my pay stays the same. (Rape 1)

Its hot as hell and i still have to work in the shop (Rape 2)

Upside: I now have a pretty office that i do my office stuff in.

oh wait i have to share it with another manager who is a complete fucking douche bag (ASS Rape 3)

So had some old friends find my old lady on facebook and told her that they had a boat and want to hang out with us at the lake. I have a boat too. "what a coincidence" I'm thinking. Then I remember who exactly they were back in the good ol' days and that song by Craig Morgan pops in my head, The song is called "Redneck Yacht Club"

Still have that damn Bald Feline from hell, Just like clowns, that cat is the devils idea of what is funny. I spayed that bitch though. (Point MacGyver)

So MacGyver is my new nickname at work now. Apparently i can do some pretty nifty shit using damn near nothing. (Macgyver, FUCK YEAH!)

My office phone has my name on the display for my extension. Too bad my name on the phone is THERESA and i cant manage to change it. (Rape 4)

I need money, i'm broke.

Has anyone seen my rape whistle?

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I slip further and further to evilness and insanity everyday.

Zombies are still coming goddamnit!!!! Pack your shit! Were heading to Gander Fuckin' Mountain!

So, while ive been out the last year.....

• I got a boat back in may, its bad ass! trying to get it to plane down is a bitch, what do i need to do, change the pitch on the prop, or get a damn hydrofoil? anyone smarter than me on this?


• if you wore a shrt like that in wise county, you'd be the one getting "homicide'd".


• speaking of rape, cookis anyone? Nothing says rape like cookies.


• the wife hates the music i listen to, but in my opinion, she listens to the weirdest shit.


• i fear zombies are beginning to like the cold, and the cemetery here is getting stocked with fresh occupants, its coming i tell you...............by the way i want this stoller.


• I think justin bieber is a girl.


• toyota tundras are kick ass rides.


• gotta go happy new year!

Jesus H Christ< its been forever! somebody tell me where ive been

.

• . sorry ive been dead for a while, or in a work induced coma for over a freaking year, my bad. wont happen again
• good news for all oilfield employees like myself, business round these here parts is picking up. lots of work going down San Antonio way, and its keeping me going constantly.
• ever had that feeling people are watching you in the shower... when your washing your "no no spots" your afraid to touch them because you fear you'll hear giggling. i get that a lot.
• Hugs are legit, not in dark areas though. that equals jail time, and a lifetime of having your picture under the "petterass" section of the wise county messenger on halloween.
• speaking of petterasses, i havent seen "The Big Lebowski" in a while.
• Go See It...................NOW
• I did find a new computer game thats fun.... "Mr Jones' Graveyard Shift". you start and build up a cemetery and bury people for money. like rollercoaster tycoon....for creepy morbid folks like myself.
• I missed you guys, send comments, i have hundreds to look through.
• i have a hairless cat.......The Devil created hairless cats.
• I came home today to a strage, almost urine-type scent.......i'm sure the devil made that too.
• Go see the movie "Devil" that old bitch in the elevator will give you a serious mindfuck.
• that movie gave the wife nightmares.
• i fear nothing.........except raw tomatos and onions......once again.....(created by the Devil)
• i finally saw "The A-Team" the mental patient pilot murdock reminds me of....ME!!!
• im going to dig in my cemetery now, good evening.
• Dont laugh out loud if someone is actually drowning people, get off your ass, save a life, be a hero....like me, chicks dig heroes!!!!! YES! I AM A FUCKING HERO!