Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Work Stays the same. Feels Like Rape.....it's a Pain...for proft!

Work Sucks...........I swear i'm going to start running a brothel or sumptin'

I'm Hungry.


  • School is back in session, that's right parents: Scary rapists are on the prowl. We all know where rapists strike with kids, the jogging trail, so if you don't want to be raped. Knock off the cardio. I've said it before, running kills! Or at least gets you Raped.

  • Speaking of running, I run around town at night to burn off energy, does that make me a target?

  • So, they tried making me sign a policy to use my personal truck at work, My truck+ their rules didnt fair so well with me, I ain't signing a damn thing, get me a company truck already, its only been 4 years damn!

  • The local lake level is starting to worry me as to whether or not i should put my boat back in the water, I might hit a tree, rock, corpse, or zombie or somthing. Thank God for warranty.

  • So I caught a glimpse of a show called "infested" on TV. This specific episode was over bedbugs. I'm now going to examine every aspect of my home, with a goddamned blacklight like a methed out CSI guy. F**king bugs.

  • Who is up for a good Ol' Fashioned field trip to the Pleasure Hut? I am I am!!!!!

  • Speaking of company vehicles, I Commandeered (stole) my bosses truck. I'm sure he wont mind.........Maybe.

  • Ive been listening to Shinedown a lot. Diamond Eyes, and Call Me are their best songs

Almost a year? God I suck at this.

  • Its Been One Hell of A Year For Me.
  • March 1, 2012.     I'm pretty sure I died for a short while. (see truck pictures above)
  • A semi tractor missed his turn, swung out into the other lane, and cut in front of me.
  • Unfortunately i was driving 70 MPH and couldnt stop.
  • I got 3 broken ribs, and 7 of 9 lives lost.
  • I don't know how i survived.
  • He got his hand thrown through his own window and broke his hand in 6 places.
  • He was hurt worse than me.
  • I got a new boss at work who is a complete fucking toolbox.
  • or Douchebag. Whichever you prefer.
  • I honestly think that no employee at my work likes him.......at all.
  • I'm a certified scuba diver now!!!!
  • Still Lovin' some kolaches!
  • Been drinking quite a bit of DOS EQUIS beer.  I swear i'm going to turn mexican.
  • Hell yes it's almost boat season.
  • Oh, trust me  there will be more fun pics and talk to come.   but for now, my new boss is breathing up my ass about getting work done.
  • I could've used Chuck Norris's Legal counsel.  I bet he'd whoop some ass for me in that wreck suit.
HOORAY!!! I'm still alive!!!   Cheerio!!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Excessive heat and Stupid People go hand in hand don't they?

  • So, I'm thinking of taking on a personal war against all things and people that are stupid. So if you're halfway intelligent, and dont like stupidity either, please fill out and return an application for my anti-dipshit militia.......misery loves company.

  • My "dipshit" co-worker had the balls to say that i didn't need to put my sons drawings and school work up on the walls in MY office because he comes in my office in the mornings to do his paperwork, I kindly replied " I'm damn proud of my kid and if he so much as touched one of my sons things, i'd "field dress him like he was a fucking deer."

  • He didn't bring it up again.

  • This same guy wrecked his company ride twice in less than 6 months, he showed up today with a fresh dent on his rental, I asked him what he hit and he said the dent was already there.......what a dumbass. I picked the rental up for him. I know what damage it had on it. The rental company is going to be pissed.

  • Im hungry.

  • So my boat has been on the water damn near every other day this summer.

  • The problem is, I'm running out of water in the lake......fast. I'm afraid im going to hit a body in there or something.

  • Zombies love the water, dont let them fool you, I hear the feeling of fish nibbling on dead flesh is pure ecstacy!

  • I dont think candy works with rapists anymore. Maybe they should try an Ipad or something.

  • Speaking of feminists.......PETA bothers the hell out of me.

  • I'm going to south texas to begin recruiting for my militia. I'll see you down the road, send comments for your application.

  • You can, and will be a Hero G**Damnit!!!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

It's Friggin' Hot. Is it Boat Time Yet?

  • Dryers are good places to hide a bitch. If she gets testy, just turn it on for a while and she'll get all fluffy!

  • My company re-hired a guy that my new douchebag co-worker fired like 8 months ago. He was pissed when he heard the news.

  • Speaking of this Douchebag Ass-Clown, He wrecked his company Truck again, thats twice in 6 months, anywho, he hit a fucking cow. BOOM another 6,000 dollar repair bill. It was in the middle of a straight road and he hit it head on. What a Fucking retard!!!!!

  • Yea! work emergency. get back to y'all later

Friday, July 29, 2011

Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow---Shut the FUCK up!

  • Was out on the lake (on my boat) when a black and yellow wakeboard boat passed by me playing a rap song where all they kept saying was "black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, you know what it is........" It got fucking annoying real quick like.

  • We were on the lake like 8 hours, thats thew only fucking song they played.

  • I got up on a wakeboard, I havent done that in like 13 years (my knees are pretty fucked up) it was epic! EPIC I tell you!

  • It was quite the accompishment.

  • I got a new droid phone. how the hell you work them things, I'm still trying to figure out how to turn my alarm on and off.

  • God damn I'm a technology dumbass.

  • I still haven't got my damn kolaches

  • Seriously, someone spell kolache correctly for me.

  • I enjoy my cookies, Get away from my damn door!

  • Fellatio Ninjas, Oh yeah, Wise county got 'em!

  • I havent dealt with one, then again, I dont sleep in public.

  • Rape Hurts.


  • No, smich? ok, back to work.

  • Black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, you know what it is...........Get that fucking song out my head!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I can Do stupid Shit with absolutely Nothing!!!! And look like I know what the Hell i'm doing!

  • I went to a few Burlesque shows. (The wife likes them) anywho, It was pretty damn entertaining. (see pics of half naked women above).

  • I asked my co-worker which one he wanted, he said he didnt have any chloroform.

  • Its true, i have a huge black dick.

  • So from what I have gathered so far, I sent a truck to the lower end of the state to do some work(brand new expensive truck) and the first thing that happens is, A god-damned forklift operator runs over my truck like he's in a fucking monster truck. Another truck bites the dust.

  • I want some kolache's for dinner

  • Seriously, how the hell do you spell "kolache" right?

  • and some girl scout cookies

  • Took my boat to the lake and had a 45 year old man try to wakeboard. He pulled some "Hulk - Smash" shit and obliterated my ski rope handle. I mean busted that bitch in half.

  • Fuck, that was my only ski rope.

  • You ever went to work completely exhausted and left work damn-near comatose like a zombie wanting to eat some poor douchebag you see walking down the street? Thats how I feel right about now. I think ill head to wal-mart for a snack.

  • Hows about them kolaches

  • Quit fucking around and tell me how to spell kolache correctly!!!!

  • So, I went on a yelling binge at work yesterday, Now nobody wants to talk to me. Not even my bosses, they send me e-mails every once in a while just making sure i'm OK. That's nice of them

  • Its friggin" hot and every one of my company vehicles decides they dont want their A/C to work anymore.

  • Its like the movie "Christine" only Gayer and my cars dont think for themselves. They're just pieces of Shit.

  • I'm hungry Cheerio!

Friday, June 24, 2011

dont you just love a job that damn near consumes you. I oughta call Rape every once in a while!

So my job title changed and i have a lot more shit to do, yet my pay stays the same. (Rape 1)

Its hot as hell and i still have to work in the shop (Rape 2)

Upside: I now have a pretty office that i do my office stuff in.

oh wait i have to share it with another manager who is a complete fucking douche bag (ASS Rape 3)

So had some old friends find my old lady on facebook and told her that they had a boat and want to hang out with us at the lake. I have a boat too. "what a coincidence" I'm thinking. Then I remember who exactly they were back in the good ol' days and that song by Craig Morgan pops in my head, The song is called "Redneck Yacht Club"

Still have that damn Bald Feline from hell, Just like clowns, that cat is the devils idea of what is funny. I spayed that bitch though. (Point MacGyver)

So MacGyver is my new nickname at work now. Apparently i can do some pretty nifty shit using damn near nothing. (Macgyver, FUCK YEAH!)

My office phone has my name on the display for my extension. Too bad my name on the phone is THERESA and i cant manage to change it. (Rape 4)

I need money, i'm broke.

Has anyone seen my rape whistle?

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I slip further and further to evilness and insanity everyday.

Zombies are still coming goddamnit!!!! Pack your shit! Were heading to Gander Fuckin' Mountain!